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Metaphorically Speaking

If you've been playing the writing game for any amount of time you know how difficult it can be to come up with unique metaphors and similes. You go in with the best intentions but end up comparing your main character's heartbreak with day old spaghetti.

Take heart! Though you might feel you've single-handedly ruined the English language here are some examples sure to make you feel better. Sure, Snopes might've discovered that they were entries in the Washington Post's Style Invitational where writers are asked to purposefully come up with 'painfully bad' analogies. But they're guaranteed to give you a laugh!

"The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant."

"Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do."

"He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River."

"The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan might just work."

"John and Mary had never met. "They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."

"Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze."

"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."


Amanda Hannah

Amanda grew up on a big farm in a small town with one stoplight, one school, and a handful of imaginary friends.She would’ve gone to college forever, but eight years and five majors tested her advisor’s patience. So she moved to Germany to explore creepy castles before landing in Spain where she’s perfecting her Flamenco.

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  1. "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."

    I can't stop giggling.

  2. Those gave me a good chuckle. Now I know exactly how not to write metaphors, like the Wicked Witch of the West contemplating a bath.

  3. This is such a coincidence, I was juts thinking today that I really need to come up with better metaphors/similes! Now I'm a little comforted that mine are not quite that bad ;)

  4. LOL--those are GREAT! Love them. Thanks for sharing. :D


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Item Reviewed: Metaphorically Speaking Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Amanda Hannah