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The Daily Tribute April 1st Edition

The Daily Tribute
Your First (and by law, only) Choice for Capitol News!

Panem is buzzing with movie news! President Snow announced today in a press conference that they'll be bringing the lovely songbird, Taylor Swift, on board for the soundtrack. "After only two days in the arena," he said at the conference, "we were able to pull something out of her that didn't have a thing to do with a Jonas brother or John Mayer, or any other ex boyfriend for that matter." 

Casting scandal rocked the set!The Tribute caught up to the Capitol's very own, Effie Trinket, for the latest. "They looked heavily at Veronica Mars' Kristin Bell. She's been a huge supporter of the books and the Capitol loved her enthusiasm. They were seconds away from singing the contract when that little video surfaced."

 "Such displays of emotion make for great television. But think of what the tributes might do! Start running around hugging and playing nice with the Tracker Jackers? The games would be ruined!"

The Capitol's very own Cinna is seeing the effects of the blockbuster movie. New York's catwalks are alive with some fashions giving homage to the beautiful creations our tributes wear.

The Hunger Games frenzy has even attracted the attention of local political commentators. 

Infuriated over rumors that the "star-crossed" love affair between Katniss and Peeta is false and meant only to evoke sympathy from viewers, Rush Limbaugh has ordered Katniss to release a sex tape. 

"She's violating the rules and integrity of these great games," Limbaugh stated. "She's clearly using sex to win. She's a slut. My tax dollars fund these games – if this is how she's going to play, I demand she tape her sexual activities and upload them online."

When asked whether Peeta, too, should be faulted or punished in any way, the pundit had no comment.

Special Note from the desk of President Snow:

Everyone here in the capitol wishes to send our warmest thanks to Summit Entertainment for seeing the error of their ways by attempting to capture the quiet strength and steadfast guidance of Panem's citizens without conferring with us, the source, first. However, just a few Tracker Jackers later and we have assurance that the only things sparkling in our movie portrayal will be the costumes on our tributes. 

Gamemakers have also announced a new challenge for future games. Far more dangerous than muttations, competitors will now be facing angry hordes of invasive vaginal wands. The choice may seem sexist at first glance, but Gamemakers have assured the public that male and female competitors will be treated equally. "It's a non-issue," said one wand when asked for comment. "Despite our name, we aren't too particular about which orifice we violate."

For a chance to win the Hunger Games (Songs from District 12 and Beyond) Soundtrack, leave a comment below telling us who your favorite Hunger Games character is along with an email address for us to contact you. Deadline is April 7th. Winner chosen randomly during The Reaping.

May the odds be ever in your favor! 

A huge and special thanks to Michelle Schusterman for stopping back by the highway to collaborate on our April Fools post! 
Amanda Hannah

Amanda grew up on a big farm in a small town with one stoplight, one school, and a handful of imaginary friends.She would’ve gone to college forever, but eight years and five majors tested her advisor’s patience. So she moved to Germany to explore creepy castles before landing in Spain where she’s perfecting her Flamenco.

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  1. I love Peeta. He's not "Hunger Games strong," but he's determined not to be broken.

    muchlanguage (at) gmail (dot) com

  2. Oh I heart so many of the characters especially Katniss and Peeta. But I'm going to go ahead and say one of my favorite non lead roles was Haymitch. He's a drunk but he has his reasons and when he sees these two have a chance he does everything in his power to help them. It's his belief in them that helps them win (more so in book than movie, although in the movie I do like the messages hehe).

  3. My favorite Hunger Games character is Haymitch. Thanks so much for hosting this!

    My email is akfoody (at) gmail (dot) com

  4. OMG I love this post! Haha, my favorite character? Oh jeez, obviously Rue. I also love Johanna too, she's so sassy!

    amber.hrkns at gmail dot com

  5. My favorite character's Finnick. He seems like such a player but he's actually just a really broken character.


  6. Awesome post! I loved so many characters, but one who hasn't been mentioned was Foxface. She was so sneaky - I'd probably be like her if I was in the Hunger Games!


  7. Awesome post! Love to hate the Limbaugh bit. ;)
    There are so many characters I'm in love with: Finnick, Cinna, Rue...
    But, most recently, I'm kinda sorta a little bit obsessed with Cato. He starts out as the villain but (mainly because of Alexander Ludwig's incredible acting) you see that he's just a pawn in the Capitol's game (pardon the pun).

    I'm obsessed with this soundtrack. I've been listening to it online on repeat for the past week. Thanks for the giveaway!

  8. This is an AMAZINGLY genius post! :D As for favourite HG character, I adore Cinna. His passion amidst the rough-and-tumble setting is inspiring. :)

    yahongchi @ gmail . com

  9. Either Cinna or Haymitch. They're not "heroes" in the sense Katniss and Peeta are, but they do what they can... and isn't that really the definition of being a hero?


  10. Haymitch!

    ambermlee75 @ gmail . com

  11. Definitely Haymitch. He's probably got Rush's sex tape hidden somewhere and could use it to blackmail him into sponsorship.

  12. You know what? I think Rue is my favorite character. I sobbed when she died.

  13. Why does nobody love Annie? She's so broken. At least she has her child! (extemter at hotmail dot com)

  14. My favorite character is Katniss. I explain why here.

    something dot dramatic at gmail dot com : )

  15. I like Cinna. He has such quiet strength and support but takes a big risk to stand up for what he believes in.

    And Katniss, of course. She's the strong heroine I love to read about.

  16. I LOVE DEM ALL! Probably Cinna or Finnick are my favourite, though. Gosh Finnick asdfghkldsjkfh <3


  17. this post is hilarous. My favorite character? I really love Finnick.

    lauren51990 at aol dot com

  18. This post is excellent xD

    My favorite character (aside from Katniss) is definetely Cinna--he was from the Capitol but he was still able to see through the glitz and glamour that the hunger games (and Snow) were completely insane.


    thank you for the giveaway :)

  19. Gale is my favorite!



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Item Reviewed: The Daily Tribute April 1st Edition Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Amanda Hannah