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The Writing Life Through the Eyes of the Outside World (And Your Cat)

If you're reading this, you probably view the writing life as pretty normal. To write requires focus, determination, and lots of time spent inside your own head - all excellent requirements in the eyes of a writer. Sitting still has never been more productive, baby!

But the truth is, if you look at it objectively, the writing life is a little odd. It does require a person to live inside their own head for long stretches of time, which can result in the outside world being ignored. Physical activity and sun exposure aren't exactly required. And the mood and productivity swings, ones that come almost daily during the journey of producing a book, could serve as a shock to a less used-to-it creature.

All this begs the question: how must the writing life look to others who are totally separated from it? What about... through the eyes of a cat? Oh yeah. This is so happening.

The human continues to sit in front of the glowing box all day. She left at 12:00 to consume lunch-lunch, 14:00 to make use of the water-swirling machine, 15:30 to clean my waste ejection system which had grown rather odorous, and 19:00 to consume din-din. She did not even get up at 19:00 to feed me treatie-treaties. I felt ignored, and so I took a nap on her favorite black sweater at 19:30.

Today I ventured closer to the glowing box in order to find out once and for all what the human did on there all day. I witnessed strange symbols appearing inexplicably on the screen as her fingers pressed strange buttons. I attempted to imitate her actions and walked across the buttons so as to activate their powers. The human seemed not to enjoy this... I must conduct further research.

What about through the eyes of the sun?

THE SUN TIMES Entry #1.64358989x10^12
Well, it isn't working. This is the fourth straight weekend I've made the clouds get out of my way so I could stream my beautiful light down onto the Earth, and still, that one man at Latitude 40.1°/Longitude -75.6° won't get up from his computer and go outside! I can see him clearly through the window every Saturday and Sunday from noon to five o' clock, typing away. He won't even look out the window to appreciate what I'm doing for him. It's not easy to talk the rains out of throwing down a storm, you know! I'll try again next weekend, but I'm not hopeful...

And what about... through the eyes of the computer itself?

THE CPU FILES Entry 1111 (translated from code)
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ABUSE ANYMORE, MAN. User 1 is always yelling or glaring or pulling her hair at me... What did I do wrong? I'm on edge all the time, waiting for her next lash-out... Sometimes she'll be really happy and even pat my desktop before going to bed, but then other times...

My buddy Keyboard has it even worse. She'll spend hours, DAYS mashing at his keys like he's hiding some kind of secret illegal government information, and then days barely touching him at all. Can't she be a little more considerate and spread her abuse out in reasonable intervals? I don't understand, man... Someone help...

I hope you guys enjoyed seeing the writing life from an outside-the-box perspective - a very outside-the-box perspective! Us writers, we're pretty weird, amirite? What do you do as a writer that outsiders could consider odd? And is it just me, or do all cats view their owners as their personal brainwashed human captives?
Emilia Plater

Emilia is a YA author who avoids studying, food that isn't covered in cheese, and waking up before 10:30AM whenever possible. A bundle of confusions.

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  1. Funny - love that name, General Meow!

  2. Ha ha ha... I've always wondered what the computer thought. (And my cat gets offended when the laptop has my lap and she doesn't.)

  3. The different voices are great. It's like reading Winnie the Pooh or another children's book. Such large voiced characters. Very funny!

  4. I do let my cat in my lap while I'm on the computer, but I always regret it when it's time to clean the keyboard. Gobs of hair comes out from under the keys.

    He's learned the far more effective way to get my attention is to climb up on office machinery and start pressing buttons or knocking things down.

    You should have done one through the eyes of partners and children--I bet they'd have something to say! But would we even recognize their voices anymore?

  5. Funny. I love the view through the eyes of the cat.

  6. Love it, especially the one through the eyes of the cat!

  7. Ha ha! I love the different viewpoints!

  8. This post is nothing but pure awesomeness, Emilia. Nice job. My cats and I will need to have a heartfelt discussion later, so I can apologize to them.

    As for things I do...well, I used to get a lot of questions about my school binder. It's stuffed to the gills with papers, mostly writing and prewriting stuff. Oh well. It's just paper.

    BTW, I've missed Punk Writer Kid! Did you just vanish?

  9. Thanks for the awesome comments, guys!! <333

    Angelica - Aww, your kitty! hehe <3

    SSF - Paper-stuffed binders are the only kind to have :D Oh gosh, I totally vanished and I feel sooo bad about it! Life has been crazy but I hope to be back on track before too long <333 Love you!

  10. You've given a voice to abused keyboards everywhere! I love it!

  11. Of all the perspectives to look at... haha! Great post!!

  12. This is so wonderfully, wonderfully weird.

  13. My Dog: "Dude, for real, are you really writing about your ex-girlfriend in prose AGAIN?! This pooch wants some food and a belly rub, pronto."

  14. I'm pretty sure you took the words right out of my cat's head. I think the weirdest thing about the writing life to non-writers is the lack of something tangible after hours spent working. The fact that I call thinking/brainstorming sessions writing time seems to boggle the minds of many.


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Item Reviewed: The Writing Life Through the Eyes of the Outside World (And Your Cat) Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Emilia Plater