In the end, I could have gone on and on about all the things that make writing the Best Hobby-Dream-Mutant-Hybrid EVER, but said friend's eyes probs would have glazed over like delicious donuts. After all, it ain't clear to everyone how interrupted sleep patterns and constant obsessing can make life worth living. It takes a special breed to find fun in coming up with similes as creative as "glazed over like delicious donuts." Fo shiz!
Despite all the fun, being a writer can be stressful at times.
1. Nap. Okay, so this isn't that weird - at least, for me, it's written in my DNA. But some people seem averse to the wonder that is The Nap, and if you're one of those stressed few, this needs to be remedied immediately! Take one no less than 6 hours before bedtime to prevent later insomnia, and sleep for about 20 minutes, 1.5 hours, or 3 hours. (That is sleep science, right there.)
In truth, a nap can go both ways: you can wake up with worries of queries/chapters/books seeming eons away, or your cat could wake you up too early and leave you more miserable than before. But if you ask me, it's a risk worth taking. Mmm, sleep.
As you complete tasks, you can rip up the card! Or, if it's one those you-can't-really-control-it things - say, your well-meaning aunt's insistence that the process would go much more smoothly if you just self-published - limit your "worry time" to a fake notecard study session. This could even lead to your brain not caring about the material. Err, unless you were/are a good student. Gold star!
3. Take up a self-calming mantra. Like a monk! Only sexier. Anytime you feel that writer-blood pressure rising, whip out your chant. It can be short, like "I am awesome" (you are), or long, like "My percievance of this situation has been generated by my own neural passageways and will have no significant effect on the universe as a unit of space-time." Uh-huh.
4. Visualize! Imagine a snarling dog who wants to maul you. Or a cat, or a female angler fish, whatever. That animal is your writing stress. Now: tie it up to a post. With a rope made of titanium unicorn hair. There is no way that baby's getting at chya. It can only watch as you fly off on that generous unicorn into the land of inner peace. Sayonara! Hells yeah.
5. Enlist quotes. When you're stressed, the last thing you might want to hear is someone else's opinion on the subject. But the advice of old dead white men can be GREAT in this situation. Same goes for the wisdom of dead revolutionaries. And of one other person... Trust me on this one.
- "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (Translation: Those double chocolate fudge cookies may or may not make the query responses come faster. But oh Lord, we can try, we can try!)
- "There is more to life than increasing its speed." ~ Mohandas K. Gandhi (Translation: 10,000 words in a day = freakin' epic! The next-day hangover = not quite as epic. Though still epic.)
- "Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no trouble, noise, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." ~ Lady Gaga (Translation: Gaga kicks butt, dude.)