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The Publishing Channel's Fab New Fall Schedule!

It's sort of true: most TV is for losers. The awesome people of the YA world have no time to waste on television drivel. We are PRODUCTIVE AT TIMES, dangit. Luckily, I've totally fabricated tracked down the new fall lineup of the one station that's out to change all that: The Publishing Channel!

Hold on to your remotes, because things are about to get crazy in here...

MONDAY Comedy Rocks
8:00-8:30 How I Met Your Agent Okay, so we're all pretty tired of listening to Mr. Author tell his querying story directly to his manuscript. Seriously, WHEN is he going to get that offer of representation? Whatever. It's funny.
8:30-9:00 The Library Let's just say: there ain't no room for shh-ing in this library. Watch as readers and librarians collide behind the bookshelves, dealing with their trials and travails in a wild mocumentary. Yeah, baby!
9:00-10:00 Crit Group After ten years on the air, Crit Group is back for its final season. Dude. Will Ron and Raquel FINALLY confess their love for each others' novels? Will writing team Mona and Chad take the leap and buy a new, bigger laptop? You gotta watch to find out.

TUESDAY Claws Come Out
8:00-9:00 83420 In the pulsing center of suburban Idaho, 22-year-old novelist Tina Winchester deals with the drama, heartbreak, and setbacks of being the prettiest writer in a 4550-mile radius. Will she make it to the CVS in time to buy her new notebook from Cute Checkout Guy? Should she really have eaten that last brownie? You never know in 83420.
9:00-10:00 The Intern Diaries There's more to being an intern than getting coffee. Inspired by The Intern's hit blog, The Intern, the show follows four publishing peons as they are dispatched upon the world with nothing but mostly-useless English degrees and a wavering sense of self-worth! Will they impress their bosses? Or will they be eaten?

WEDNESDAY That Show That Will Not Go Away
8:00-10:00 Blog Idol Contestants from all backgrounds blog it out week by week, fighting to gain the most followers by the finale. That's right: it's time to choose YOUR blog idol.

8:00-9:00 Joy A group of misfit teen writers join together to create The Joy Club! Under the watchful eye of their mentor - who's struggling with some broken writing dreams of his own - they'll rise to the top and show everyone what a group of weirdo writers can do. Also, they like to randomly recite pieces of writing. SWEET.
9:00-10:00 Extreme Makeover: Manuscript Edition BUILD THIS MANUSCRIPT! With the help of devilishly good-looking host Tyre Pencillington, one writer's manuscript will be torn down, overhauled, and made ready for agents, all in the span of week. Impossible, you say? Well, you're an unhelpful dweeb.

FRIDAY Epic Competition
8:00-9:00 Who Wants To Get a Massive Book Deal? Teams of authors and agents duke it out in a high-stakes game show. Watch as teams pitch editors, field rejections, and break into publishing houses in the dead of night! (Show is not responsible for any arrests or restraining orders, 'KAY?)
9:00-10:00 So You Think You Can Procrastinate Yeah, we all do it. But who is the master of procrastination? Various challenges, including Watch YouTube for 5 Hours Straight, Stalk Twitter, and Bake More Cupcakes, test each contestant's will to the max.

SATURDAY Dramarama
8:00-9:00 CSI: Conference Scene Investigation In 2008, Editor John Doe was found ripped in half by two jealous conferencegoers. Last year alone, 3 people were stampeded to death in book swagging accidents. When it comes to conferences, passions run high... and it takes the CSI to solve the case. Don't forget your sexy black sunglasses!
9:00-10:00 Cliche Hunters A team of professional cliche hunters go on a quest to eradicate all overdone novels from the shelves. But when they come across a YA paranormal love triangle novel with a Fun New Twist, their previous conceptions are scrambled... with DEADLY consequences.

Whoa. What the heck? This page is blank! Maybe you can help fill in TPS's lineup. What shows would you dig watching on The Publishing Channel?
Emilia Plater

Emilia is a YA author who avoids studying, food that isn't covered in cheese, and waking up before 10:30AM whenever possible. A bundle of confusions.

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  1. Sweet, I'll be sure to set my Tivo!

  2. This is genius. If this channel was real, I'd spend too much time watching it to actually write. ;)

  3. I laughed, I cried, but I secretly wished they'd included my favorite show about guessing the number of boxes of chocolates and cartons of Ben & Jerry's were consumed in the creation of a manuscript.

    Adding this for Friday's round-up of best articles. And definitely tweeting it. Agree with Samantha. Genius. Thanks!


  4. There's always

    FOUND: A bunch of writers on their way to RWA wind up on an island in the Bermuda Trangle where everything from their novels is somehow real.

    Or maybe

    GENRE WARS: using only a list of genre conventions, two teams of writers compete to build the most original novel.

  5. Big Brother is Watching You meets The Hunger Games: The show would be called, Shop Talk Gladiators. Put a group of best-selling authors in a room for a month, with hidden cameras and mics. Then watch them tear each others' hair out, after they compare advances, blog followings, readerships and generally talk shop for days.

  6. Epic. Epic. :DD

    Let's see...

    America's Next Top Book Cover would be amazing. Twenty-four books cover compete to win a spot in front of the store and their photo on the front of

  7. This is awesome!
    I love Jess's idea of FOUND. I'd watch that show.

  8. I don't know what I would watch, but I would definitely, definitely win at So You Think You Can Procrastinate. Because I don't think I can procrastinate. I KNOW I can.

  9. Haha...I want to watch The Joy Club. Too bad this channel doesn't exist -- I would spend the rest of my life watching :)

  10. Oh so funny.

    I love MJs idea - Next Top Book Cover ftw! Also thinking there's a soap opera in AW somewhere...As the AW Turns...Days of Our Forums...etc.

  11. LOL. I so, so love everyone's ideas. Found, Genre Wars, Shop Talk Gladiators, America's Next Top Book Cover, Days of our Forums... deff should be added to the lineup :D Thanks for the great comments so far!

  12. Too funny Emilia! Here's my contributions:

    The Amazing Beta Race: How fast can you beta read for a friend on deadline?

    19 Books and Counting: A prolific author battles multiple SNIs and the jealousy of friends with writer's block.

    Say Yes to the Mess: Book loving decorators help you reorganize that massive book collection!

    Josh and Kate Plus 8: In which video cameras follow me, my husband and the host of characters I now force him to live with.

  13. lol, love it. Maybe Sunday should be something like Praying for a Publisher. A show where one can phone in prayers for the publisher they are truly dreaming of.

  14. Oh my stars. Emilia, this is sheer amazing, as are all the show ideas in the comments!
    ... I'm thinking this needs a video version in a future post ;)

  15. "Well, you're an unhelpful dweeb"--had me in stitches! Too Funny!

  16. If anyone ever puts together the Extreme Makeover show, please call me. I'll volunteer for one!!

    My idea is Wife/Mother/Author aka How to live on 4 hours sleep and still be sexy (and published).

  17. LOL
    Awesome post. I'm loving the show ideas!

  18. So I know I'm 8 months late, but for some reason this blog post inspired me to write this one:

    Not quite as entertaining, but hey. Enjoy :)


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Item Reviewed: The Publishing Channel's Fab New Fall Schedule! Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Emilia Plater