The Official YASAT Practice Test

16-year-old YA Highway contributor Emilia Plater is currently stressing out over the real SATs - but it's all good. For more about Emilia, visit our Who We Are page.

All right, everyone, got your number two pencil? Your calculator? Your sense of impending doom?  Well, you can throw those all out the window, because baby, this isn't some wacko standardized test involving lots of math. This is the YASAT. (They're different, I swear.)

Let's break it down. The YASAT measures literacy and writing skills needed for success in college reading and writing YA novels. Sections include Sexy Love Interests and Whoa Whoa Drama. The YASAT pretty much assesses how well you analyze and solve important problems - skills you'll need while reading or writing YA of all genres and styles.

The best part? All ages can take it! So are you ready? Okay, probably not, but this is just for practice. The test that actually determines your future and whether or not you will ever be happy comes... later. Get ready. GO!

Question 1
When a protagonist converges with his or her love interest at Point A, all of the following must happen EXCEPT:
(A) All their friends know they're meant for each other
(B) An immediate explosion of fated true love
(C) One long, fluttering, emotional glance
(D) Protagonist considers his or her options and realizes he or she isn't really ready for an epic life-changing romance at age 16

Question 2

Read the passage and evaluate it in terms of the following question.

"Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense."

By your estimation, how much cold, hard cash does this book have the ability to rake in?

(A) $1,000

(B) $1,000,000

(C) $6,000,000,000

(D) Freakin' off-the-charts crazy cash

Question 3
In proper context, the usage of drugs and alcohol by teens is:
(A) A choice which may or may not result in negative consequences
(B) A cool way to amp up the drama
(C) Two words: plot device
(D) What? Do not mention drugs and alcohol in this house! BANNED!!

Question 4
When Jackson and his friends tore down the totalitarian government, it was ____ and totally epic.
(A) Awesome
(B) Considerable - should a teen, nay, a child, be portrayed in the role of a terrorist aggressor? These questions truly
(C) Have a place in today's world of YA literature and we must not overlook them for fearing of raising a new generation of
(D) Misguided youths who wonder at night whether their own society is broken and if they should go to such violent extremes to be

Question 5
A boy should love a girl for her ____, as well as her irresistible ____.
(A) Personality; charm
(B) Mysteriousness; pixie-like allure
(C) Blood; scent
(D) Hey, he's a badass supernatural creature, he doesn't even know why he's falling for this insecure wimpyface

Question 6
Jess and Sara left their houses at the same time for a fitness run to the park. Jess ran at an average speed of 7 miles per hour, and Sara ran at an average speed of 5 miles per hour. If Jess ran 4 miles farther than Sara, are Sara's parents dead?
(A) Probably - well, at least one of them is
(B) Yes
(C) They disappeared under unknown circumstances ten years ago, leaving Sara to grapple with the issue even now
(D) What is parents?

Question 7
If Zombies + Teens = Death, and Vampires + Teens = Love, then Vampires + Zombies =
(A) Werewolves
(B) Hold up, how about something else besides zombies, vampires and werewolves, preferably something asexual?
(C) CANNOT COMPUTE; TOO MANY TRENDS
(D) Purple sasquatch loch merpeoplian

Answers
1. D 2. D 3. A 4. A 5. A 6. D 7. D

So how'd you do? Did you rock the house? Or did you FAIL?*
*This is not a legitimate test in any way, so no worries. Unless you want it to be.

Emilia Plater humor Tuesday, April 27, 2010