16-year-old YA Highway contributor Emilia Plater is currently working on revisions for her novel, which features a Scarface. For more about Emilia, visit our Who We Are page or stop by her blog.
During the epic adventure of being a Young Adult reader, you're bound to encounter a ton of colorful main characters. Just how colorful? Time to taste the rainbow, dudes. Here are the profiles of the top five people protagonists you meet in heaven YA - and you didn't even have to die to see them! Sweet.
ScarfaceSay hello to Scarface, and they'll either start crying for no apparent reason, flip you off, or both. That's because Scarface has a freakishly cruel god. Something bad and OMG-worthy affected their emotional development anywhere from ten years to ten minutes ago, and all their thoughts lead back to that OMG-worthy thing. Seriously, all of their thoughts. Everyone has a history, but Scarface's defines them like crazy-genius defines Lady Gaga. Also, they're pretty badass.
Biggest secret: has seen things that'd make a war vet shudder and/or suffers from the year's most topical brochure-type issue
Most likely seen: refusing to cooperate with their therapist; having a poetic mental breakdown
Also appears as: The Fallen Angel - a London Hyatt who's been stripped of power
Makes awesome babies (in ten years) with: Normal Jean
Also appears as: The Fallen Angel - a London Hyatt who's been stripped of power
Makes awesome babies (in ten years) with: Normal Jean
Normal JeanNormal Jean, by coincidence, is just that: normal. Sure, they might have their quirks, but whatever - those aren't important. What matters is the fact that everyone can relate to them. Like, everyone. Even that weird nose-picker kid who used to live in your neighborhood feels compelled by Normal Jean's withering fear of public speaking (incidentally the most common fear in the country).
Biggest secret: killed the family cat by accident in second grade
Most likely seen: reading books; staring creepily at the new boy in town
Makes awesome babies (in ten years) with: The Comedian
WARNING: Because Normal Jean is so normal, and therefore empty inside, they are easily swept up in love. If you notice the story of your Normal Jean beginning to mold around another (totally hot) person, take a step back and wonder whether they wouldn't benefit from a hobby or two. Like pottery. Or telling jokes. Which brings us to...
Most likely seen: reading books; staring creepily at the new boy in town
Makes awesome babies (in ten years) with: The Comedian
WARNING: Because Normal Jean is so normal, and therefore empty inside, they are easily swept up in love. If you notice the story of your Normal Jean beginning to mold around another (totally hot) person, take a step back and wonder whether they wouldn't benefit from a hobby or two. Like pottery. Or telling jokes. Which brings us to...
The ComedianNo doubt The Comedian's got troubles. But instead of getting all annoying and whiny about it, you know what they do? They use humor to stitch up their broken heart and, in the process, keep everyone else in stitches. A crowd favorite, at least with their friends, The Comedian makes a compelling case for their peers to stop taking themselves so seriously. I mean, come on, guys. Your boyfriend broke up with you over forwarded text? How can you not laugh about that?
Biggest secret: has a huge crush on London Hyatt
Most likely seen: making inappropriate comments at funerals; drawing oddly professional-looking comics
Also appears as: The Snarker - one who distributes lethal doses of snark
Makes awesome babies (in ten years) with: LeFreak
Biggest secret: has a huge crush on London Hyatt
Most likely seen: making inappropriate comments at funerals; drawing oddly professional-looking comics
Also appears as: The Snarker - one who distributes lethal doses of snark
Makes awesome babies (in ten years) with: LeFreak
LeFreak
Unlike Scarface, nothing happened to LeFreak to make them an outsider. Maybe they have a totally endearing physical flaw, like obesity or glasses. Maybe they've spent one too many Saturday nights organizing their comic book collection. Or maybe they've never given enough of a crap about sucking up to the cool kids. In a way, LeFreak is the coolest of them all - unless they have low self-esteem, in which case an Important Lesson about Loving Oneself lies just around the corner!
Biggest secret: once ransacked parents' office looking for nonexistent adoption papers
Most likely seen: having incredibly quirky conversations; gazing wistfully in the mirror
In real life, would: find comfortable niche as a sexually active band geek
Makes awesome babies (in ten years) with: London Hyatt
London Hyatt
Man, London Hyatt, we love you. How could we not, with your insider status, your indiscreetly name-dropped brands, your naive disregard for the welfare of those around you? Okay, we're being judgmental. You can be pretty charming sometimes, and you're a ton of fun to root for. In the end, we'd rather be on your side than trying to fight you. We're chill, right, London? Right?
In real life, would: find comfortable niche as a sexually active band geek
Makes awesome babies (in ten years) with: London Hyatt
London HyattMan, London Hyatt, we love you. How could we not, with your insider status, your indiscreetly name-dropped brands, your naive disregard for the welfare of those around you? Okay, we're being judgmental. You can be pretty charming sometimes, and you're a ton of fun to root for. In the end, we'd rather be on your side than trying to fight you. We're chill, right, London? Right?
Biggest secret: orchestrated a coup to get their history teacher fired
Most likely seen: wondering why their friends keep betraying them; betraying their friends
In real life, would: spend Saturday night studying to get into Harvard like Daddy wants
Makes awesome babies (in ten years) with: Scarface
YA is chock-full of hybrids made from two - or a few - of the above, as well as protagonists that'll throw a tantrum before molding to one type. What do you think? Did we miss anybody? And hey, if you're a writer, does your main character fit any of the bills?
Most likely seen: wondering why their friends keep betraying them; betraying their friends
In real life, would: spend Saturday night studying to get into Harvard like Daddy wants
Makes awesome babies (in ten years) with: Scarface
YA is chock-full of hybrids made from two - or a few - of the above, as well as protagonists that'll throw a tantrum before molding to one type. What do you think? Did we miss anybody? And hey, if you're a writer, does your main character fit any of the bills?
~Emilia Plater
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