YA Highway

Um...ew. Close your coat. It's not that kind of flash.


The lovely writers of Flashy Fiction are hosting a fun contest all through October. Just enter a comments section (of any post, I believe) with a short short story, and you are automatically entered in a drawing to win a $20 gift certificate to Amazon on November 1st!


And if you've never visited, hang around. Every day, one of the writers posts a prompt of some sort – picture, phrase, headline, etc – and challenges you to write a piece of flash fiction in the comments section. Very fun!

And, seriously...the coat.

Ready...Set...FLASH!

On the writing boards we frequent, questions about YA literary fiction come up often. What's the definition? What's the difference between it and commercial?

Because I'm a literary YA author, I always feel inclined to jump in. Especially when I see writers claim all literary fiction is Depressing and Dense.

Hardly.

(Well, some of it is, but not all).

In fact, while I enjoy commercial fiction, my favorites are unvaryingly literary. I've spent a great deal of time thinking about it, and here's the result: my long-winded take on what makes literary literary, specifically when it comes to young adult lit.

The craft

Simply put, literary fiction takes longer to write than commercial. There's much more crafting involved, from paragraph flow to word choice. There's more attention paid to the sounds of sentences –the rhythm, the turns of phrase. I find that I wrestle with the cadence of a sentence as much as I do the words it contains. In fact, I'd say writing literary fiction resembles writing poetry as much as it does snappy commercial fiction.

The driving force

In general, commercial novels are plot-driven. Most, though not all, adult genre books fall into the commercial spectrum: horror, romance, SF, mysteries. When I mean genre, I mean the obvious genre books, not books with just some element of mystery or romance. Literary novels, however, are driven by character, introspection, transcendence (see below), and the prose itself. But plot is important too, especially with young adult literary fiction. While some adult literary fiction is famous for meandering endlessly, teens need their books to go somewhere.

The tools

Remember those literary devices you learned in high school? No, I don't mean alliteration. I mean symbolism—not just similes and metaphors, but also richer, deeper symbolism, involving setting and character, objects and actions, all of them interweaving and reflecting. Allegory. Irony. Allusion.

But here's the catch: in great literary fiction, these devices don't bash you over the head. They're subtle. They're masterful. They're ah-ha!

The tone

This might be the most difficult factor to describe. Not all literary fiction is depressing, but it does make us feel. There's more introspection. A slower pace. More description, more expository. An overall deeper feeling, which should be apparent from the very first pages, or even the first lines. An example:

"I'm dreaming of the boy in the tree and at the exact moment I'm about to hear the answer that I've been waiting for, the flashlights yank me out of what could have been one of those perfect moments of clarity people talk about for the rest of their lives."

–Melina Marchetta, Jellicoe Road

Just like that, she's got us pondering. Which brings me to…

The transcendence

While all books should entertain, quality literary fiction does more. That's what I mean by transcendence: the use of intricate characters, significant subject matter and resonant situations to say something about the human condition. I'm not talking morals, or thinly veiled messages. Good literary fiction makes you think. And think. And think.

For example, Laurie Halse Anderson's Wintergirls doesn't show us the perils of eating disorders in a glib cause-and-effect scenario, like most teen "issue books" would (i.e., bad family, bad society, bad body image = bad disease). The questions Wintergirls raises are much more complex; not just about the disorder, its roots and repercussions, but about all the versions of ourselves clamoring inside our skins, the helpful, the harmful and the hopeless*. All this, written in Laurie's uniquely lyrical voice.

Here's the thing about YA literary.

It's different from adult literary. Not just the age of the protagonist—crack open Atonement or The God of Small Things or Blood Meridian alongside some of the books listed below, and you'll see the differences right away.

A key distinction is the pacing. Teenagers might tackle inches-thick literary classics in school, but when they're reading for fun, they're searching for actual story. In most cases, it's not a matter of reading level or capability. It's that they don't want to sift through the hundred-acre-woods to find the apple trees.

But if you ask me, that's what makes young adult literary fiction so fantastic. Nothing's better than a book that pulls us along while making us think, bound in a lyrical package. A book that enriches us and illuminates some part of life, simply through the manipulation of twenty-six letters.

Now that's a magic power.

A few popular literary, commercial, and line-straddling young adult novels:

Definitely Literary:
Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta
A Certain Slant of Light by Laura Whitcomb
Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson
The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation by M.T. Anderson
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Definitely Commerical:
Series like Gossip Girl, The Clique, Private, etc.
Meg Cabot's books
Series like Artemis Fowl and A Series of Unfortunate Events
Series like House of Night, Uglies, Blue Bloods, etc.

The catch: Like with most things, this categorization is more of a gradient. The majority of fiction falls somewhere between the two extremes.

Line Straddlers:
Looking for Alaska by John Green
Graceling by Kristin Cashore
Story of a Girl by Sara Zarr
The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan
13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher



~Kirsten

*You've got to watch out for that sneaky alliteration... slips in there sometimes

Literary Fiction... and Magic Powers

THE SHIFTER Winner

YA Highway contributor Kristin Briana Otts had the opportunity to interview Lisa Mantchev, whose AMAZING YA fantasy, EYES LIKE STARS, came out a few months ago. She's in love with this novel and eagerly awaiting the sequel, so it was exciting to talk with Lisa.

Welcome to the Théâtre Illuminata, where the actors of every play ever written can be found behind the curtain. They were born to play their parts, and are bound to the Théâtre by The Book—an ancient and magical tome of scripts. Bertie is not one of them, but they are her family—and she is about to lose them all and the only home she has ever known.

KB: Describe your novel in twenty words or less.

LM: Beatrice Shakespeare Smith lives in a magical theater with all the characters from every play ever written.

KB: Where did you get the idea for EYES LIKE STARS?

LM: ELS started life as a short story entitled "All Her World's A Stage" and THAT started with Bertie's full name... it just popped into my head one day as I was writing something else entirely.

KB: It's a GREAT name. :) Do you usually try to follow an outline or are you a "pantser"?

LM: A little of both... I outline, and then wander all over the place as I work through a first draft. Some of my favorite scenes were never part of "the plan"... like the Tango Scene. That was inspired by a season past of So You Think You Can Dance, something I was watching in the evenings to decompress after a day of putting down new words.

KB: Haha, awesome! (That was one of my favorite scenes, actually.) There are so many fun, quirky characters in ESL - I particularly love Ophelia and her obsession with drowning. :) Did you set out to create this cast or did they kind of tackle you and demand to be in your book? (Maybe that's just me...)

LM: The Players just showed up... the fairies, Ophelia, and Ariel all arrived as-is, with their personality quirks and in full costume, ready to go. Nate turned up in a revision, when the Sea Goddess/scrimshaw plotline was added in.

KB: I am SO glad Nate found his way into the cast. *hugs Nate* Can you tell us the story of that first call from both your agent and editor?

LM: Would it be bad to admit it's been so long that I can only remember bits and pieces of those calls? I remember my pulse thudding in my ears, and taking lots of notes, and trying to not sound like a raving idiot (which I might have managed... I've blocked that part of it out!) I remember asking Jean Feiwel what her favorite scene was, and she liked the Tango Scene the best (hooray!) The thing that clinched it for my agent was the musical number "What Will Become Of Us," which was originally a little bit longer with even more bad poetry. *L*

KB: Do you listen to music while you write?

LM: Depends on the day... some days I need absolute quite to get words down, other days I'm listening to everything from techno dance music to the soundtracks to Cirque du Soleil's Corteo. I have friends that will verify that I have Really Awful taste in pop music. ;)

KB: Oh, so do I. *wince* Can you give us a teensy weensy summary of PERCHANCE TO DREAM, or is it very tightly under wraps right now? (The fangirl in me hopes for a small peek...)

LM: Anything I could say about Perchance To Dream is a spoiler for Eyes Like Stars, so I'm waiting for the Official Book Jacket Copy to share anything about book 2. Sorry!!

KB: Dang it. *pouts* Oh well. I guess I can wait for next year. :D Last but not least - what is your favorite flavor of jelly bean?

LM: Tangerine Jelly Bellies. My mom always put those in my Easter basket (mixed with Lemon and Lemon-Lime... that combination always makes me think of springtime.)

Thanks again for the interview, Lisa, and for your awesome book!!!
--Kristin Briana Otts

Learn more about Lisa and the players of the Theatre Illuminata at www.theatre-illuminata.com.

*Cross-posted to Teens Writing for Teens

Interview with Lisa Mantchev, Author of EYES LIKE STARS

Handwriting vs. typing

You've been waiting for it. Now we're happy to present Janice Hardy, author of THE SHIFTER (THE PAIN MERCHANTS in the UK).

About THE SHIFTER:

Fifteen-year-old Nya is an orphan struggling for survival in a city crippled by war. She is also a Taker—with her touch, she can heal injuries, pulling pain from another person and storing it inside her own body. But unlike her sister Tali and the other Takers who become Healer’s League apprentices, Nya’s skill is flawed: she can’t push that pain into pynvium, the enchanted metal used to store it. All she can do is shift it from person to person, a dangerous skill that she must keep hidden from forces occupying her city. If discovered, she’d be used as a human weapon against her own people.

Rumors of another war make Nya’s life harder, forcing her to take desperate risks just to find work and food. She pushes her luck too far and exposes her secret to a pain merchant eager to use her shifting ability for his own sinister purpose. At first, Nya refuses, but when Tali and other League Healers mysteriously disappear, she’s faced with some difficult choices. As her father used to say, principles are a bargain at any price, but how many will Nya have to sell to get Tali back alive?

THE SHIFTER is classic Young Adult fantasy with a unique concept. Honestly, I think the use of healing as a resource is one of the very best concepts I've come across in a long time. Hardy builds the world so thoroughly that the society comes alive for the reader. She truly is a talented world builder (read more about her world building here).

The tale is innocent enough to attract younger YA readers, but thoughtful and penetrating enough for older readers. It's full of great characters, from survival-influenced Nya to strong, insistent Donello, to the mysterious Jeatar. Principles are for sale in THE SHIFTER, and I often found myself wondering how I would have handled the situations Nya finds herself in. While I personally would have like to see a little more direct action from the main villains, I found the story to be exciting and well-paced and I look forward to the next installment in the series.

Janice was kind enough to answer some burning questions for our readers. Thanks for taking the time to chat with the Highway!


1. The concept is amazing! Who hasn’t wanted their pain immediately taken from them? Where did this idea come from?

Thanks! About six years ago, I was playing with twisting standard fantasy tropes, and it dawned on me that in fantasy, healing rarely has consequences. It’s usually a laying of hands and divine light and everyone is good as new. I could only think of one novel where healing had any downsides at all (Michelle West’s Broken Crown series). I started thinking, what if the only magic in this world was healing, and it had consequences? How could healing be a bad thing? I came up with the idea of a boy who could heal, but had no control over it. He’d bump into people and take their pain, but be unable to get rid of it. There’d be bad guys who’d want to use his pain as a weapon, and would offer to take his away. It was a ghastly story, and I crammed it into a drawer and forgot all about it. Then two years ago, I was at the Surrey International Writers Conference where the presenters stressed originality. I came home all fired up to find something fresh, dug into my old files and found my old notes. The story was still terrible, but that core idea of pain shifting stuck with me. After that, I just started world building and the story developed from that.

2. Stylistically, THE SHIFTER reads like good, classic fantasy. Because of this, it will be accessible and appealing to fantasy lovers. Was this intentional or simply a byproduct of the voice and story that needed to be told?

I think a byproduct of voice and story. My only intention when I start a book is to tell a good story, and it’s up to the characters how that sounds and feels. Nya fell right onto the page with a strong sense of who she was and that really set the tone for the book. I’d love to take credit for it, but it was really her doing.


3. Nya’s gift is extraordinary. Are we going to see more unusual gifts from other Healers/Takers? Any hints on what those might be?

Yes, but I can’t say what kinds or it’ll give things away.


4. There are a number of villains in your story and – with a resource as desirable as healing – their motivations ring true. Do you think it’s possible for Nya’s world to have a system that’s fair or will greed always get in the way?

I think greed will always get in the way on some level, because the resources are limited. And since those resources can literally mean the difference between life and death, people are going to want to control and hoard them.


5. Your “good” characters: Nya and her friends and family, Jeatar, are intriguing and well-rounded. I hope we see them sticking with Nya to the very end. What are the temptations that might pull them from their fight for freedom?

You’ll see them all again in book two. Hmmm…temptations. Survival most likely. Their lives are not easy, and I can see each of them hitting a point where they’ll wonder if it’s really worth it. They have their own priorities, and at some point those have to clash. (And if I have my say, it’ll be at the worst possible moments)


6. Can you give us any hints as to what direction Nya and Danello’s relationship is headed?

Let’s just say they’ll definitely get to know each other better and leave it at that. –grin-


7. You are an excellent world builder. What have been your influences re: world building?

Thanks! The first time I noticed world-building from a writer, and that was after reading David Eddings’ “Pawn of Prophecy,” I was really impressed with how smoothly he slipped the background details into the narrative. I actually remember describing it to a friend that he wrote with the background details like a movie puts in sounds effects. It’s all there, and you don’t notice it, but it makes everything feel so real. One of my biggest influences is actually my best friend (and fellow writer) Juliette Wade. She’s a wonderful world builder and our discussions over the years about worlds and point of view really made me look at it in a whole new light. Worlds are about character, and two people will see the same world differently. The trick is to show the world through someone’s eyes, with all the biases and opinions that come with it.


8. You write about principles and ideologies in a way that makes the reader think about one’s own principles. How important is it to you that your readers question their own character as they read?

Not at all. My goal is to entertain them and tell a great story, and if I do anything more than that, it’s icing on the cake. I think it’s really cool when people do question things, and I’m thrilled that the story connected with them on such a level, but it’s not something I set out to do. I think if I tried to do it on purpose, it would come across all preachy. I just let the characters be who they are, and readers can take away whatever they want from that. And everyone takes something different, which I love.


9. The mythology/religion in Nya’s world is intriguing. How influential is it to the peoples of Geveg and to those who occupy Geveg and are fleeing to it?

Interesting question! It depends on the person. Nya has a strong spiritual side and she relies on that for her strength, but she’s just as reliant on her Grannyma’s memory as she is in her patron Saint. Some characters are very influenced by the Saints, while others don’t give them a thought. No society believes all of one thing or another, and I wanted to reflect that with Geveg.


10. How many books are planned for The Healing Wars series and when can we expect the next installment of the story?

Three total, and the next book should be out around fall of 2010.


Finally, Five Real Fast:

1. A book that should be required reading for every teenager? Ooo, that’s a toughy. I’ve always loved “The Secret Garden,” but there have been so many that really stuck with me.
2. What special power would you have if you could choose? Hands down, teleportation.
3. What is your favorite supermarket candy? Sweet Tarts.
4. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be? A Komodo Dragon.
5. What place in your life highway has been the best, so far? Cliché as it sounds, right now. How could it not be? I just had a lifelong dream come true!






THE SHIFTER is Janice Hardy's first novel. You can read more about Janice and her work on Janice's website.



It's your turn to discover Nya and the world of pain shifting. We are giving away one ARC copy of THE SHIFTER to a lucky reader. Your first comment is entry #1. Followers get another comment (leave a second comment with "Entry #2 - Follower" in the box.) If you link to us on your blog, you may leave another comment (Entry #3 - *insert blog address here*) for a total of three entries. The winner will be announced Wednesday, September 23. Good luck!

Janice Hardy's THE SHIFTER

THE SHIFTER hits shelves in October 2009, but it's already at YA Highway.

And it can be yours. Stay tuned.

Coming Attractions: THE SHIFTER

I just stumbled across this website, and I have to share. I can't decide if I love this because it's hilarious, or because of its actual potential power to help writer's block.

Have a little peek at 911 Writer's Block. It's a simple payphone style keypad. The friendly female voice that informs you when numbers are disconnected or when your fingers are too fat to dial (sorry, Simpsons geek) politely instructs you to choose a number based on your writing emergency. 1 = Setting, 2 = Characters, 3 = Dramatic Entrances, etc.


Each time you punch number, a new solution or prompt is generated. Examples? You bet:

Don't know how to kill a character? Dial 8...ah. Poor guy suffers deep vein thrombosis on a 22-hour flight to Mumbai.

Can't find the right bit of dialogue? Button 4 to the rescue..."He's been lying there for three days! How could you not notice?" (Ooh, that'll work well in my middle grade unicorn story.)

Shortage of verbs? Dial 6..."Squelch." (Huh, that'll work in the same unicorn scene. Weird.)

And of course, the age old problem of how to end your novel. Dial 9..."You stand outside the wig store, sadder but wiser."

So no more excuses! Use 911 and bust through that writer's block.

911 Writers Block

It's time to finish out the wonder of Unlabor Day Week with a bang!

Presenting:



The Top Ten Writing Tips For The Most Amazing. Novel. Ever.

Since I'm obviously going to be published, I thought it would be a good idea to share my super secret tips on stellar writing. *

10: To really captivate a reader, start with a weird, cryptic dream that may or may not have anything to do with your novel.

It was night, and I was alone in the park. The emerald glass blades tickled at my bare feet. The snow sparkled in the gloomy streetlights and I reached my hand out to catch the flakes. But. . . they weren't flakes, they were tears. Cold, lonely tears falling from above. But from where? There was like, a total sense of foreboding in that moment. I mean, it felt all misty and eerie in that park. But. . . why?

9:Describe your Characters in depth for your reader (preferably by having them look into a mirror) And no one wants to read about people that aren't gorgeous, so make sure all your characters are perfect.

I stared into the antique beveled mirror that rested above my dresser. My long hair, as black and shining as a raven arching gracefully across a setting sun, flowed like a placid stream of water down my shoulders; shoulders that were slender, yet defined (Hey. Someone had to chisel all those icicles back home. It's not like they were manly shoulders, just defined you know, with toned muscles). My perky, but not cute, as in button-like, nose was covered with a dusting of sprinkles that only enhanced the creamy pallor of my skin. My eyes, like brilliant sapphires, were framed with thick, dark lashes. I smiled, and my thick, pouting lips parted to display a set of dazzling white teeth.

8: Use Dialog Tags. Everywhere. (Otherwise, the poor reader wouldn't be able to follow the conversation!)

"Well," I said."If that's how you feel, maybe I should just go back home."

"Maybe you should," Jeffrey said.

"Fine," I said.

"Fine," Jeffrey said.

7: Even Better: Add action to as many dialogue tags as you can!

"I'm sorry I ever left the igloo to come here!" I sobbed as I started gathering my things from the desk.

"That makes two of us," Jefferey said, leaning over my desk with that supersexy 'I'm all tough on the outside, but deep down I'm really sensitive and misunderstood' look.

"I guess that's it then," I said, my lips trembling as I remembered the really intense kiss we had shared at the office party, even if Jefferey didn't due to his over consumption of the punch.

"Have a nice life," Jeffery said as he turned on his heel.

6: To really bring on the excitement, make sure you use proper punctuation.

I barreled out of the office and stood in the park in my Old Navy Sweatshirt and size five abercrombies and sketchers. I stared up at the sasquatch that stood in front of me. "Oh my God!!" I screamed. "Who are you?!" I hollered to the sasquatch. "Why are you here in Central Park!"

5: Adverbs: use them as often as you can!

"I'm here to kill Jeffrey," the sasquach said menacingly.

"Oh, you are so not," I said defiantly. (I mean sure, Jeffrey was being a royal a-hole, but I wasn't about to let this big, hairy thing go and kill my almost/kinda/sorta boyfriend. Nuh uh.

The sasquatch grinned evilly, "Think you can stop me?"

I put my hands on my hips sassily. "You bet your hairy butt I can."

4: The Thesaurus? So your best friend (It doesn't matter if the words don't have exactly the same meaning).

"Ohhh, I'm all shakey" the sasquatch said sarcastically.

"Yeah, cause I'm so afraid of a sasquatch," I replied acerbically.

The sasquatch rolled his eyes and muttered sardonically, "Please."

3: Draw out action scenes to really increase the intensity.

And then the sasquatch stared at me. I stared back. The autumn wind battered against my cheeks and it kind of reminded me of home. Well, except back home at the igloo, the wind would have been a little more harsh and damp. You know, like sleet? Don't even get me started on what sleet will do to a girl's hair! I had to deep condition like every other day! My hairstylist (Pierre, the one I talked about in Chapter 45?) he would be totally pissed if he knew I was out here about to battle a sasquatch and I hadn't remembered to pull my hair back in a hairband. Not the elastic kind. Those will rip your hair right out. He says a scrunchie is so the way to go.

2: Purple, Shmurple. Make sure you really lay it on thick in the prose. How else will a reader be able to understand the true depths of your insightful writing?

But I knew deep down-- down to the very core of my being--I could never hurt the sasquatch. My heart, unlike my home back at the igloo, wasn't made of ice. It was filled with warmth like a fresh batch of cookies and so much love that sometimes I wondered how it didn' t burst like a balloon that had drifted too close to the sun. And what is the point in this thing called life if we can't share that love, I ask you? What is the purpose for our very existence?

My heart fluttered with sympathy for this large, hairy creature. He was so utterly lost and alone. His solitude only born from a fear of not being accepted by others. A fear, much like a young child whose trust in humanity had withered like a flower in the heat of a boiling sun. But I, I could heal that pain. I could take that step and reach out my hand like a bridge over the raging waters of his past.

And the Number 1 Writing Tip For Success?

*Take every single word you've read this past week during our quirky (and hopefully slightly entertaining) celebration of Unlabor Day Week and laugh. Hope it was a nice break from all the seriousness!

Writer's Top Ten Tips For Success

STEP 1: Denial

Something's wrong.

My email must be malfunctioning. Maybe it's replacing punctuation with wingdings. And that last rejection? The timestamp's three hours after I sent my query letter—no freaking way any agent could have read it in that time.

I know it's not my query. That thing's so shiny I could pick my teeth in it. Mom and Aunt Caroline both loved it.

I mean, there aren't any good books published nowadays—mine's a special snowflake! And any agent worth a smooshed goldfish would recognize genius in my sample pages. They must not be reading them. They must be on vacation. It must be the Intern's fault.

At least I'm not getting form rejections. "I encourage you to submit elsewhere"—that's pretty much like a referral, right?


STEP 2: Anger

Re: Re: Query letta: KISS MY ICE

Hey Agent XY/Michelle/Suzie/Ethan/Joanna/etc…

U WOULDN’T KNOW A GOOD BOOK IF IT BIT YOU IN THE PECHANGA!!* You didn't even have time to read my query, let alone the 232 pages I attached as an ODT file. If U cant handle the heat, get outta the fireplace.

p.s. if your still interested, ignore the above


STEP 3: Bargaining

*ring ring*

"XYlit agency?"

"'Sup? I sent you a query for my book, Kiss My Ice, last week, but I'm pretty sure it like, got lost in cyberspace or something, and I thought this was a more intimate way of contacting you."

"Kiss My Ice? Aren't you the one who twittered all those nasty things about—"

"Anyways, I just know there must have been some kind of mistake, because if you read my query, you'd be sharting your pants to read my novel. It'll probably get scooped up super-soon, so this is kind of like the chance of your career. I can send you a full or a partial right away. If you want a partial, though, I'd rather send you pages 266 through 387, since that's when the book really picks up. Whaddya say?"

"…"

"Hello?"


STEP 4: Depression

I'LL NEVER BE AN AUTHOR AS LONG AS I LIVE.

What I mean is, I'll be like Herman Melville—my true genius only appreciated after I die.


STEP 5: Acceptance REVENGE

Sorry, guppy, but you've got a higher calling. Hope there's enough water in this plastic bag to get you through the US Postal Service…


Next week: writing tips for instant representation!

*you know -- from dirty dancing!! .... no?

The Five Stages of Rejection

Manners Don't End Just Because You Hit Send

Let's get serious for a second here. Agents read a lot of queries. Like, a ton. After awhile, they've got to start looking the same. How can you, a Future Famous Writer, make sure your masterpiece stands out in the slushpile?

When it's time to start querying - you know, about halfway through your first draft - keep these rules in mind.

1. Be memorable. Email query? Use bright colors and crazy fonts to really stick out. Snail mailin' it? Might as well mail everything you've got, printed and bound (they have great deals at Kinko's). Include tons of illustrations, and hey - a little butt-kissing never hurts. Send 'em a gift.

2. Save yourself time and write one killer query, then mass query (if you're emailing) or print off tons of copies (for regular mail). Their individual names will be on the envelope - doesn't need to be in the letter too.

3. Be funny. Try really, really hard to be funny.

4. Come up with a catchy hook for the story - rhetorical questions work like a charm.

5. Tell them why your MC is the shiz.

6. Make sure they know you totally understand the market and potential audience, and that you don't really need them, but you're just throwing them a bone 'cause this book is gonna make some CASH.

7. Let them know about any and all writing experience. Any. And. All.

8. Give them lots of personal info about yourself. You are going to be working together, after all. They'll appreciate that you shared.

9. Don't worry about what they "represent". They don't know it yet, but they'll be falling all over your manuscript no matter what genres they prefer.

10. Above all, be confident. They want your business. They NEED it.

Easy enough? Okay, let's put this into practice. Here we go:

Dear Every Agent on Publisher's Marketplace,

Wut uppp? :)~ My dystopian historical fiction novel, entitled KISS MY ICE, is ready for review with an anticipated 250,000 words.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Marry S. Dove is a snarky, tough, fashion-loving Eskimo who decides to leave life at the igloo behind and head to NYC. Her traumatic first day at her magazine internship is made worse when she meets Jeffrey Lion, her jerk of a boss- who also happens to be HAWT.

Marry and Jeffrey fight a lot and almost have sex three times. The wacky gang at the office thinks it's a big mistake and plot to get Marry fired. But when a giant Sasquatch invades the city, Marry might be they're only hope.

Or is she?

KISS MY ICE is the first book in a planned twelve book series. It's absolutely nothing like Twilight or Harry Potter, and it will defanetily make more money then both combined. It's kind of like Captain Underpants meets Silence of the Lambs.

I was a serious writer in first grade and in second grade I won third prize in a poetry contest, which was a big deal coz the judge was Ms. McNutt and she was a bee-yotch.... LOL Then I stopped writing for about twenty years but now I'm ready to try being a professional author again. I have a degree in advanced aeronautics and five cats and three fish and a weird rash on the back side of my knee that my dermatologist prescribed hemorrhoid cream for and at first I was all WTF?!? but then it totally worked. :D

I know your website says you only rep crime mysteries and thrillers, but I know once you read the first chapter you'll be hooked! LOL I'm sending you the first 232 pages, and I'll be sure to email you the rest when it's finished. Be sure to check the box- as a special gift I'm including a box of Klondike bars!

I don't know what a "SASSY" is, so hit me up on Twitter when you want to talk deal! @I_B_Ballin

Peace.

Nevah G. B. Pubbed

Not bad, huh? In fact....I think this book needs to be written. If any agents are reading this, due to the economy I can't afford to write unless I'm getting some green. But once I get that six figure advance check I'd love to throw this together for you!**

Now you've got all the tools you need to write a sweet query. What, you haven't finished writing the book? Haven't I taught you ANYTHING? Query away!



**Sweet merciful crap, I'm joking. Please, please know I'm joking.

How to Write a Query That Will Make an Agent Weep

To kick off our unlabor week: beta readers. Enjoy our week of satire!

How not to choose beta readers...

Put that jigsaw down! Tuck your overdue paperwork under the couch! Call in with writer's block! It’s Labor Day week and that means we will not Labor! We don’t want you to labor too hard, either, so beginning tomorrow we’re going to take some of those writerly worries off your shoulders and detail a few writer don’ts.

Instead of the insightful, mind-numbing and finger seizing writing that encompasses most of our days, we are going to outline the road to representation for our awesome readers. Five posts that might be informative, could be insightful, but definitely are entertaining (we hope!) follow the efforts of poor, uninformed but hopeful Writer. Watch as Writer betas and queries his/her work, contacts agencies (in more way than one), dreams up rejection revenge strategies and, finally notes the top ten no-nos in a world founded on creative rule-breaking.

Laugh with us, smirk at us, hoot and holler, roll your eyes. It’s all good. Just have fun with us as we celebrate Writer’s Unlabor Day holiday.

Coming Soon . . . Unlabor Week!

Flipping through my Google reader a few minutes ago, I came across this post by super-agent Janet Reid and promptly choked on my PB&J sandwich.

Many writers, aspiring and published, are very active with social media- Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and fabulous forums. Despite the fact that we're all very aware of the fact that these sites make our comments, for the most part, public, we tend to get comfortable and start hitting that TMI line pretty quickly.

Ms. Reid linked to this post on notes from the SCBWI 2009 conference, where editor Wendy Loggia named "Seven Reasons Why Your Manuscript Gets Declined." Ms. Reid pointed out number four, causing my peanut butter chokage.

4. The writer seems like a difficult person to work with. Wendy always Googles an author’s name before offering a contract. She says she may be prompted to change her mind about signing up an author if they share too much information in their blog, if they tend to blog a lot about how hard writing is, if they blog about being rejected many times, if they publicly bash a book she’s worked on, or if they bash a colleague in the business who is her friend.

This is the second time in a week I've heard an agent/editor claim to Google a potential client before offering a contract. I'm pretty obsessed with social media- I have accounts with Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Digg, StumbleUpon, and Reddit- I subscribe to a pretty hefty amount of blogs, and I'm active on a few forums. And I have to say, a few times a week I see professional writers- published or not, we all aspire to be professional- sharing thoughts or making comments that make me cringe.

This isn't Literary Big Brother. We should be able to say what we want, be ourselves, and not have it affect our career. We're humans; we do silly, stupid, off-the-wall things sometimes. But that doesn't mean the whole world needs to know about it.

It's the same for any profession. I'm a teacher. I've never posted anything on any of these places that I wouldn't want my students or their parents to see. If I want to share with a few people, I can share through email, or a phone call, or that long forgotten method: in person.

I don't want to sound like a fuddy-duddy (although just using the word pretty much makes me one). But agented or unagented, published or unpublished, I think writers should maintain some level of professionalism online. Humor, sarcasm, and sharing personal stories are great and a good way to develop a strong online presence, but watch out for that TMI line.

It's so easy to become comfortable with expressing yourself to the few people you know are reading your tweets, FB feeds, blogs, or forum posts. But what about those you don't know are reading?

The Consequence of TMI

Series books have become quite popular in the YA world. From dark and gritty urban fantasies to the tales of preened upper society high schoolers, more and more shelves at bookstores are displaying ongoing sagas. I'm not complaining. I like knowing I'll get to spend just a little longer in a great story with characters I love. But series books can also get a bad rep for committing these sins. How forgivable are they?

Cliffhanger endings.
Are these the best way to get readers in line for the next installment or will it just leave them throwing the book against the wall, swearing off the series entirely? It's great to leave some unanswered questions lurking in the readers mind, but ending a book with the main character, mid-fight and on the brink of death or standing between two love interests trying to decide, can be downright cruel!

Drawing a story out unnecessarily.
Nothing bothers me more than coming to a place in a series where the story drifts so far off the map I feel lost, only to drift back to the main story line with the next book.Of course there should be subplots, but let's just say a random sword wielding moose that is released onto the post-apocalyptic masses, just to be cleared up completely and far too neatly 325 pages later (never to be heard of again, mind you) can come across as nothing but filler if the moose didn't bring about some big revelations or changes in the main characters. Series books should have a forward momentum, some swelling to a big finish.


Have you ever gotten aggravated with a series? How do you feel about cliffhanger endings?

Leaving Them Wanting More. . .Or Just Leaving Them Angry?

In honor of Zombie Appreciation Week, Janice Hardy is having another great contest with an ARC of her new fantasy novel The Shifter as the prize! The task is simple; coming up with a great zombie-inspired title and leaving it in the comments section. Head over to The Other Side of the Story now to enter!

And if you missed Janice's awesome guest post her on yaHighway not too long ago, check it out!

Mmmm....Brains....

When the draft is polished. When the edits are done. When the book is now in the capable hands of my agent and all I can do is wait. Now what do I do?

For me, that first week after a serious round of revising and editing, the best way to unwind is immerse myself in lots of good books. I try not to read while I’m writing or editing, mainly because I don’t want to subconsciously “borrow” something from someone else. I want the story I write to be completely mine. So when everything is finished, I get to reward myself and read for enjoyment.

So I bought Blue Moon by Alyson Noel, who is one of my favorite authors and such a super nice person to boot. And I also got Wings by Aprilynne Pike, which has been out for a while, but I haven’t had a chance to read up till now. I love reading debut novels especially, because it helps me keep focused. Yesterday at the bookstore I wandered around the Young Adult section, telling my husband that one day soon my book WILL be right there too.

I am a fast reader and it takes about 6 hours to read a book among requests for peanut butter sandwiches and letting the dogs out to pee. Then usually after about a week, I am ready to dive into the next book I have been thinking about.

It’s a never ending cycle, but one that I can’t imagine doing without. There is an urge there to keep on writing. No matter how silent my inbox is waiting to hear if a book sold, I have to keep on going. The first may never sell, or the second, or the third (Though I may have to start drinking by that point!) but you just have to keep on keeping on.

In the words of Dory from Finding Nemo, Just keep swimming. So now, tell me, how do you unwind, recharge, and just keep swimming?

What do you do after you exhale?