To kick off our unlabor week: beta readers. Enjoy our week of satire!
Today both Mom and Aunt Caroline finished beta reading Kiss My Ice. They’re coments were awesome!!!! I knew I didn’t even need betas and I was right. They found like no flaws. I already have fixed where Mom found a missing coma and reworded that one paragraph Aunt Caroline didn’t love. They both said I’m defanetily gonna be the next JK Rowling and I so agree. Kiss My Ice is defanetily a billion dollar book. Any agent who doesn’t offer to rep me within like five seconds of getting my querry is so totally missing out. Its cool tho, cuz I've already looked up the home addresses of some of my favs. They won't think its too pushy when I stop by once they've read KMI and realized how rockin it is. And at the bottom of the page here I’m pasting the part were Merry meets the sasquatch, because Mom said it was totally terrifying. Here it is with her coments and everything:
And then I ran thru the emerald green blades of grass that were as tall as my ankles [This is so beautifully written!] (because I guess they decided not to mow Central Park that day) wearing my white Old Navy sweatshirt that I got on sale for $12.99 and a pair of size 5 jeans from Abercrombie and my pink Sketchers. [You have to put a comma right after $12.99 sweetheart! I think. But you’re my little writer, so you know better than me. Maybe look it up. And speaking of Old Navy—let’s go shopping later!] I was so happy!! I felt like I was flying into the pale blue sky that had white fluffy clouds in it. And also this one gray cloud. Maybe it was gonna rain soon. But then I got scared. A sasquatch appeared. WTF is a sasquatch doing in Central Park?!?!?! [Oh no! I’m so scared. I didn’t expect a sasquatch, what a great twist!] It was totally hairy and stuff, but I’d tap that. If I weren’t already kind of sort of maybe taken.
“Who are you?” he asked in a rude way. (I could tell by his voice that he was a guy.) [I’m glad you explained this so no one will be confused!]
“Who are you?!?!” I asked back meanly, even though I was really really scared. But I’m totally badass, so sasquatches can’t just come up to me and be rude, no way! [This is getting so intense!]